I’ve worked with parents of babies who are old enough to sleep through the night but aren’t yet doing so, nap-resistant toddlers, older children who won’t stay in their beds (or who sneak into their parents’ beds uninvited). I’m a licensed child and family therapist-and the mother of two daughters-and for over two decades, I’ve focused my practice on helping tens of thousands of weary and bleary-eyed families all around the world find solutions to their children’s sleep problems. Parents around the world know me as The Sleep Lady. But like everything else in life, some just need a little more help than others. ![]() We all know that the need for sleep is biological, but we don’t always realize that the ability to sleep is a learned skill. They are just new little people who have not yet learned to put themselves to sleep. ![]() Of course, the millions of babies who don’t initially sleep through the night are not moral failures. ![]() These parents, already overwhelmed by exhaustion, now must also deal with feelings of inadequacy that they are failing their first duty as parents: to teach their babies to sleep. “How is the baby sleeping?” It’s one of the first questions parents of a new baby face, after “Boy or girl?” or “How much did she weigh?” If the baby sleeps well, the answer all too often is “Oh, she’s a good baby.” By implication, those who don’t sleep are bad babies, which to me is a ludicrous notion.
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